I left this as a comment at Melissa’s blog but I wanted to share me thoughts here too:
One thing that I’ve realized about myself is that once I fall into the mode of shouting mom (which I do far too often, I’ve got a short temper and lots of control issues), it’s hard for me to pull myself out. It’s almost like an addiction. If I scold my kids in an ugly tone of voice once, I’m likely to do it ten more times in a short period of time. What I’ve got to figure out is how to get “addicted” to being in the moment and enjoying where we are and treating my daughters with respect. I’m not at all sure how to do this but I’m working on it.
I have a question for Melissa (or anyone else who works from home and has small children). How do you get any writing done when you are living in the moment and really enjoying your kids? I’m also a writer but I can’t get any work done when I really feel like I’m in sync with my kids and really being present with them (I’ve already given up the standards I’d like to have for housework and other family management so I can’t steal much time from that). I feel like I have to choose between working at all and being able to have our family life the way I want it and maybe I do but I’d really like to be able to do some writing since I love doing it and be present with my family without having to completely give up sleep or evening time with my husband. How do you do it?
Update: Melissa wrote a delightful answer to this question and continued with a discussion about how she’s not “doing it all”. I definitely recommend reading her post!
I’m really enjoying the comments on Melissa’s blog on unschooling. Unschooling is not something I ever would have considered for my family until recently. I’m a scheduler by nature even when it comes to vacations and weekends. Unscheduled time is a challenge for me. It makes me feel antsy. But I’ve seen all the cool things my 4.5 yr old has learned as she’s followed her own interests and reading blogs like this one makes me want to think more about it. But like others have mentioned I’ve seen only negative examples in my community where the kids have too few limits and the parents are giving very little guidance so I need to read more about the type of unschooling being discussed here.
I do my best writing late at night, after the children have gone to bed. I make myself a cup of hot cocoa, light a few candles, and write to my heart’s content.
I wish I were more of a night person, but by 7:30 when the girls go to bed, I’m beat and wanting to spend time with my husband who works very long days. I’ve thought about getting up early and writing while the house was still quiet in the morning though.